May 2012
3 posts
Scootin’ Joober: The Sound Makin’ Man,...
I don’t fuckin’ know.
I recorded this...
Names That Will Adversely Affect Your Future Child
Don’t name your kid these.
Slade
Tasha
Keith
Blade
Byron
Bryon
Byorn
Chyna
Boob Dylan
Corbin Bersen
Hatefuck
Slenderpuss
The Devil
Little Richard’s Personal Assistant, Rhonda, from Guam
Snooch2thanooch
Reggie “Stop Snitchin’” Garcia
Damon Wayans
Quesadilla
Noisy Cummer
BLASTMAX
ENFORCER X BLASTFORCE KOP
MAXXERBLAST RAZERFORCE
Mr. Wendall
...
April 2012
2 posts
Shart Fucklin' Jumble Thumbs
Guys, I don’t EVEN know!
Blogging on a regular basis is hard. I mean, I’ve been updating this garbage (and before that, some garbage on a different site) for years claiming “I’m going to blog more” and then I blog at a similar rate as before. I’m not going to claim that this time, even though that’s what I’m saying. I’ve got some stuff in...
I recorded a really solid one of these and it...
March 2012
1 post
My magnum opus
February 2012
1 post
Repost from Livejournal
People seemed to like this. Including my mother. So, I’m reposting it here.
1-26-09 - Decatur, TX This day was a day off. Normally I wouldn’t bother documenting a day off, but it included a horrible milestone in my life. We stayed at Ryan the Merchguy’s mother’s cousin’s place in Decatur, TX. It’s kind of a ranchy type place in the middle of nowhere, and it’s a super nice...
December 2011
2 posts
Food therapy, Minneapolis, disease, book/movie...
@scarygenius
I don’t blog that much anymore. I’m sure I’ll always go in spurts. ha. I said spurts. Anyway, I’m ALWAYS doing stuff on my Twitter. You can look at it right here. In fact, this is the third time in this post I’ve linked to it.
Anyway, my point is you should check it out. I’m trying desperately to make you laugh. Please just accept me. Pee.
November 2011
2 posts
Marked
Only a tiny handful of people have seen me shirtless in the last 15 years. Medical professionals, a few very close friends, and an very small number of girls who I managed to temporarily convince I had some sort of sex appeal. At this point in my life, it’s just become a thing I do without thinking. I’m used to it. I have “don’t let anyone see you without this” subconsciously running through...
Mints, having fun, cigarettes
August 2011
7 posts
The Box
A month or so before I graduated high school, my family moved from our small sea-foam green house to a bigger, newer, browner one just a mile or so away. After the house had been selected by my parents, my friend Billy and I went to see it for the first time during our lunch period. We walked through, and I certainly thought it was nice, but I didn’t jump up and down about it. “You never...
Recorded several weeks ago. Art in the Park,...
Listen
Zach Galifianakis, “nothings too...
Reflections on posts lost, the supernatural, being...
Small talk, Evan Oby, cutting the crap
July 2011
14 posts
Bismarck, money, Git R Dun, old woman story,...
Six Songs, music biz, food, my unfamous friends.
Failed interview with Justin Sauer
Working out, introspection, Captain America, JR...
Bohemian Rhapsody, shovels, high school memories,...
Dog attacks, more judgment, gasoline, jokes.
Shoelaces, rummage sales, generally unimpressive...
Anonymous asked: Pretty sure you've always wanted to see me naked.. Well.. I'm feeling pretty adventurous today so go to datelink3[dot]com (switch [dot] with .) then sign up and find my profile under the username 'lolsummer69'. I hid my face in the pictures. but I want you to guess who I am and then hit me up on Facebook lol. Good luck.
Struggling, general rage, critics, and sporting...
Observations by Craig Jerik.
What should I call this? In this installment...
I’m going to start doing this.
Listen
May 2011
1 post
5 tags
Clog Bloggin'
For whatever reason I’ve been thinking lately about how for those who have lived a relatively trauma-free life, some of the most terrifying moments are those that come as the water rises in a clogged toilet. I’m sure everyone has experienced this at some point. You do your business and finish and as you’re in that sort of post-void, care-free, zippedy-doo-dah glow you look over...
April 2011
1 post
Insidious
Recently I saw the latest horror movie, Insidious, being touted as “the scariest movie since Poltergeist!” As an abused lover of the horror genre, I went. As the credits began to roll I thought to myself, “What an aptly named movie.” The trailer and first half of the movie leads you to believe you’re getting one thing, when all of the sudden — BOOM. You...
February 2011
5 posts
I can't believe this is in a newpaper →
Absolutely no offense to any of my friends who work for the Fargo Forum! I just think this is an unfortunate showing of how we as North Dakotans can be bored and simple.
Solea - Finally We Are Nowhere
This is so Scottie...
Something About Train Tracks
I’ve been meaning to write about this for a while, and just realized I had made notes in my drafts folder the night it happened. So, here it is as best as I can remember…
Back in early July, my friend Nathan was in town with his band. I’d spent the evening hanging out with them at the apartment of a fine lad named Lucas, and was about to leave. Nathan and I were standing on...
WatchI miss the late 90s/early 00s where one could hop on mp3.com and find a ton of great bands with this sound. More people should do this!
THRASH
October 2010
2 posts
Twilight notes
Some time ago I wrote a review for the movie Twilight, a movie that was ultimately perplexing. As a consummate professional, I took notes while I watched the movie. I just stumbled across these notes, and here they are in their entirety.
TWILIGHT NOTES
Bella leaving Phoenix
Dad - Cop - Clearly disconnected due to hair length mix-up
Calls him “Charlie”
Jacob - long-haired Native...
September 2010
5 posts
Comedians I like.
I wish I could blog more. Actually, I CAN blog more. For some reason I choose not to. I mean that is what it comes down to, isn’t it?
Anyway, I really like comedy. For some reason around 2006 after seeing Zach Galifianakis on Comedy Central Presents, I really got into comedy.
Here’s some comedians I’ve been into lately:
Anthony Jeselnik
Normally I’m immediately...
Fat men, on average, last longer in bed.
Six Songs goes legit
Six Songs with Jerry and a Guest is not a real podcast available in the iTunes store.
CLICK RIGHT HERE to head to the iTunes store page. View it in iTunes and BOOM you can subscribe. You’ll automatically get our disgusting droppings as they happen.
Awesome.
sixsongs:
This week’s guest: Chris Olson
This...
August 2010
2 posts
sixsongs:
This week’s guest: Sean Murray
This...
July 2010
6 posts
6 tags
Becoming the Manchild: Part 1
When I was nineteen I moved from Bismarck, ND to Fargo, ND. At the time I had concluded that Bismarck had given me all it had to offer. Most of my friends had already made the same move. It was time for me to begin my adulthood.
Adulthood was initially going to begin in early August, but was moved to the end of August when I fell in love with a girl. After a few idyllic weeks, I...
I got one of those Formspring things where you an anonymously ask me anything you want and I’ll probably respond.
Check it out right here.